You can be a great parent, thoughtful, energetic, focused, attentive, caring, nurturing, responsible, and all the virtues we might expect from a wonderful mother – but that doesn’t mean you’ll be immune to stress.
Being stressed out doesn’t mean you’re a weak person with limited endurance either, after all, what could be more taxing and intense than raising a brand new human being from day zero into a healthy adult ready to take on this massive world of ours? Some might say it’s the biggest duty you could ever have, and we’d be inclined to agree.
Sometimes, your day just doesn’t go as you’d hoped. Your children might not be cooperating with the school run, you may be dealing with a sick child, you may be having a tough time at work while also raising two little ones, and we don’t need to give an exhaustive list of stress factors from this point on because, well, anything could happen.
So, during those moments of “stress overload,” you might find yourself needing to take a break lest you say something you don’t mean, or harm your own health and wellbeing.
What should you do in these situations? Well, in this post, we hope to help you with exactly that:
How Can I Deal With Stress As A Mother
Give Your Child A Time Out
The best thing you can ever do during a family argument is to make everyone take a breather. That also includes children who are hyper or wound up and unlikely to settle. Giving your child a time-out isn’t necessarily a punishment – but it does encourage them to calm down, think about their behavior, and return when they’re a little more placid.
So, find a quiet, safe spot where your kid can sit for a few minutes. It’s generally a good idea to time them out for one minute per year of age, but you know your child best and what they need – perhaps they have asthma and crying or having a tantrum can trigger it, so being close by with their inhaler is essential instead of locking them in a bedroom temporarily.
While they’re having their time out, you can take a moment to collect yourself too. Deep breaths, count to ten, whatever works for you. In fact, this guide has been written to help you with that. When the time’s up, have a calm chat about what happened and discuss why you put them into time-out. It may help them for next time.
Meditation
Now you don’t need to break out a yoga mat and assume the lotus position the moment you feel stressed, you need the right time and place to do that. That said, mindfulness is actually a great tool for stressed-out moms.
There are tons of simple meditation techniques you can do anywhere, anytime. One easy one is to focus on your breath blowing in and out of your nostrils – just pay attention to the sensation of the air passing them.
Another good option is a body scan, where you “check” in with each part of your body, noticing any tension and letting it go gently. There are some good apps worth using too, like Headspace which allows you to do a quick ten-minute guided meditation. Sure, if you’re in the middle of the school run or are in a family dispute this isn’t so convenient, but after the fact, this can be a great way to let off some steam.
Drink Some Herbal Tea
Herbal tea can be naturally calming. Just make sure the caffeine content isn’t too high because that can only exacerbate the sense of stress. Green tea is a good option (not matcha), as is peppermint and camomile. Lemon tea can also be naturally soothing, as can ginger.
Of course, the tea is nice, but standing in your garden or outside with your cup also gives you the space to calm down a touch and focus on the ritual of blowing on the water, drinking the tea, and just taking a breather. It’s better than a negative habit like going out for a cigarette or eating fast food.
Play A Game
There’s a reason Tetris is often recommended to people suffering from a traumatic event – it helps our brain focus on the construction and puzzling of another task instead of ruminating on the difficulty we’ve just had.
There’s a little escapism in this too, of course. For example, solitaire can help you focus on stacking cards and matching suits. Match that with deep breathing, and all of a sudden you’ve relaxed more than you had expected.
Read A Book
Now, you don’t have to sit down for two hours trying to move through War and Peace, as even a few pages of a light, fun novel can help you reset in your mind and relax a little, similar to how a game works but less interactively.
Keep a book in your bag or by your bedside for those moments when you need a quick break from reality or a means of relaxing in bed after a long hard day. If you don’t have time for a whole chapter, maybe just read a poem or a short story, even a book of daily quotes can be inspirational. There are apps for that if you’d prefer not to go out and by something specifically.
Make sure not to read online articles, especially not about politics or current events, this can cause more stress than it alleviates. Of course, audiobooks can be great too, especially if you’re multitasking such as doing household chores.
Tag In A Parent, Trusted Relative, Or Friend
It’s fine to ask for help. Perhaps your partner can take over for a bit while you take a walk around the local park to calm down. Or perhaps a grandparent or trusted friend could watch the kids for an hour so you can have some alone time with your partner or just to soak in the bath. Even a quick phone call with a friend to ask their advice might soothe you. With this advice, you’ll be certain to positively deal with stress as a mother, despite your wonderful efforts at parenting.
